As summer slips into fall …

This, too, can be fun

You can’t do it. Can’t face it, can’t handle it, can’t cope. And the worst part is, you can’t figure out why. Nothing has changed. You’ve been getting the kids off to school, driving carpools, planning and cooking meals, cleaning house, doing laundry, picking up dry cleaning, and working full time for years. Ah, but not recently.

It’s August. A time throughout your childhood and on into adulthood for baseball and barbecues, swimming lessons, lazy days by the pool, and that two-week family trek to Tahoe that lingered into Labor Day. But not anymore.

Have you noticed? Things have changed. The back-to-school launch has been starting earlier and earlier. It’s even gotten to the point where it has eclipsed an entire month of your traditional and treasured summer, beginning these days as early as August 1.

The early onset of school and the pending seasonal change can darken the happiest pool party.

“Once the days become noticeably shorter and darkness sets in, certain people experience a kind of depression called seasonal affective disorder,” says retired Community Hospital marriage and family therapist Nancy Bartell. “The air becomes colder, the light is darker, the vegetation loses its color. It dampens the spirit. Some people can minimize the problem by sitting in front of broad-spectrum fluorescent lights. Others simply need to recognize the changes to help understand their feelings.”

Perhaps that’s why we light candles, bake pies, carve pumpkins, and gather round the hearth or football games on television. We’re looking for ways to bring warmth, excitement, and entertainment into the new season. When we have time.

“A lot of people like to go on vacations during September,” says Bartell, “just to eliminate or cope with the loss of summer and transition into the busy fall season. But for those who have kids in school or other obligations, that’s not an option.”

Around here, it isn’t so change in climate that throws us, since summers across the Monterey Peninsula are traditionally foggy and dreary. In fact, the early fall months bring some of the warmest, balmiest weather of the year. Therein, perhaps, lies the frustration. Just when it is warm enough to go into the water, we don’t have time.

“It’s different going from long days and leisurely evenings to a 5 o’clock sunset, making days seem shorter just when you need them most,” says Community Hospital clinical social worker Suzi Brauner-Tatum.“ It’s an important time to organize your world in whatever way will work for you. Be realistic about what you can and cannot do. What do you need your schedule to look like? Try to figure out what’s causing your stress. Are you stressed because you don’t like your job or because you simply love your free time even more? How can you make the most of each?”

Brauner-Tatum recommends stepping back two weeks before the onset of school to begin shifting gears from summer’s more leisurely pace to the routines of fall. Do what you need to do to bring closure to whether it’s a backyard barbecue or last trip to the lake. Get the school shopping out of the way for clothes and shoes, backpacks and books. Schedule the checkups and haircuts, and clean out the clutter. But give yourself enough
time to get it all done.

“It’s also a time to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to realize there is a transition taking place that brings change,” she said. “It’s understandable that you may experience a sense of loss. The freedom of summer, with its warm air and childhood memories, may still be very much a part of your
being. When that’s over, there can be some sadness. Understand it as a
real and valid feeling, and then do something special for yourself to heal it. Bring in fall flowers, stop for a cup of coffee, buy a new book or something for your fall wardrobe.

“Put things into perspective. This is not punishment; it’s simply part of the cycle that is our lives. Celebrate the change of seasons instead of dreading it. Work to create a mindset of celebration instead of regret.”