Stress in the age of consumption
Why feeling well is better than feeling good
The cat throws up in the middle of the night. Which hardly fazes you since you are up anyway. Pacing. Thinking. Worrying about the meeting at 2 p.m. and whether you really know your stuff. Wondering if you can get out of that meeting in time to go to the dentist before you pick up the kids and whether Johnny is getting enough help in math and if the contractor’s going to call and when the kitchen remodel will be finished and why you can’t be more grateful because, after all, it’s not like you’re in a soup line somewhere. Then you’re questioning whether you picked up your power suit from the cleaners and if it even fits this week and why can’t you get to the gym more often and what are you going to do when your mother-in-law comes next week? And when did that plant die, anyway?
Stress. It’s the all-American pastime.
For some, it’s the ultimate source of motivation, the kick-start that gets them out of bed in the morning to pursue the deadline bearing down on them at work. It’s the only reason, they’ll tell you, they get anything done. They might even say they thrive on it.
For others, stress is debilitating. Overwhelming. The weight of it keeps them from getting a good night’s sleep, keeps them from getting out of bed in the morning, keeps them from meeting deadlines, keeps them from enjoying a satisfying life.
According to the Centers for Disease Control, stress can be defined as the harmful physical and emotional responses that occur when what is required of us doesn’t match our capabilities, resources, or needs. It can motivate us to overcome such obstacles, or it can lead to inertia, poor health, and even injury.
Life is inherently stressful. It always has been, and it likely always will be. Ask a 40-year-old woman in 1930, 1945, 1965, 1980, 1995, 2006 if she is stressed, and the answer is most likely “Yes.” Different era, different focus, different president, different technology. But same feelings.
“I don’t think people have changed so much,” says Wayne Lavengood, manager of Outpatient Behavioral Health Services at Community Hospital. “What has changed is the nature of our daily lives. We live at a faster pace, constantly needing to do more, achieve more in less time. This leads to multitasking, which becomes our measure of success — How much can we do at once? And this leads to an inversion of priorities.”
This multiple-booking of our time causes changes in the family structure as well. Our attention is on how much we can do, how much we can get, and how soon — instead of on how to be with one another. In many families, both parents work to earn enough to cover the mortgage, the mobile phones, the taxes, the tuition, the braces, the babysitter, the clothes, the computer, the travel, the high-tech toys.
“Technology plays a big role in the restructuring of our families,” says Lavengood. “We have learned and have taught our children that we have access to everything and don’t have to wait for anything. We are creating a ‘have-it-now’ society, and our children have no other context, no time when these things didn’t exist. As a result, we become externally driven instead of looking within the self and within the family for what we need.”
The pursuit of everything has become such a habit, we never seem to feel that we have enough, can get enough done, or are entitled to take a break. Consequently, we never seem to enjoy what we have.
“As a result of the demands our daily lives put on us, we are seeing a lot more mental health disorders,” says Lavengood. “We see more depression, more anxiety, more anger, and more of a reliance on substances — drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, chocolate. It’s the quick fix to treat our symptoms with illegal or unhealthy substances that will make us feel better only in the moment.”
According to the National Women’s Health Resource Center (NWHRC), 43 percent of all adults suffer adverse health effects from stress. One in four Americans turns to food to help alleviate stress, and these comfort eaters report and exhibit higher levels of stress, with symptoms that include nervousness, anxiety, fatigue, lack of energy, irritability, and insomnia.
Moreover, Americans who report feeling “very concerned” about their stress are more likely to be smokers and less likely to exercise.
Striving to feel better in the moment, says Lavengood, means we’re looking at a very small part of the big picture. We’re not exercising the forethought and self-control necessary to take care of ourselves for the long term.
As entrenched as so many of us are in the cultural dynamic of overachievement and immediate gratification, you can, says Lavengood, change your lifestyle to mitigate stress and promote health. For starters, try slowing down: walk through life rather than being pulled through it. Set limits on how much you take on, learn to do one thing at a time, choose to pull back from this culture of consumption. Plan your meals, selecting foods that will nourish you and help you to feel well instead of looking for fast food that will make you feel good. Most importantly, learn how to say “No.”
“Create some balance by reassessing what is really important when you look at the big picture and by identifying and changing self-defeating habits,” Lavengood says. “Practice slowing down and pacing yourself. You can take back control of your life.”
For those who might need help, please contact Community Hospital’s Outpatient Behavioral Health Services program at 625-4600.
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